Getting to Know You: McCoy

Kirk received an email from a friend and he sent it to some of his friends. Spock and McCoy received it and after some cajoling, Spock convinced McCoy to fill it out. Here is his profile.

Note to all audiences: Spock and McCoy are bondmates.

NAME: Leonard H. McCoy or "Bones" or "T'hy'la" to a certain Vulcan First Officer.

SEX: On the beach (male).

HOME: Atlanta, Georgia and the USS Enterprise.

HEIGHT: A few inches less than Spock. (Spock whispers something. Len: No Spock. I don't care about your Vulcan measurements.)

EYES: Crystal blue. Like a clear drink of water. Not my words.

HAIR: Thick and brown.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW? I am partial to that show Babylon: 5 (Spock whispers something. Len: No! I don't like watching Bill Nye The Science Guy.) Although, I also like this funny show Monty Python's Flying Circus. Spock has yet to understand why.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? What the Hell is a mouse pad?

FAVOURITE MAGAZINE: Xenobiology Monthly. I don't need to look at dirty magazines. Unlike a certain Captain by the name of J.T.

FAVOURITE SMELL: Fresh cut grass.

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: When my father died and then, when a cure for his disease was found months after his death.

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: That's a toughie. (Spock: Is it really that difficult Leonard? I would think that "our bonding" would be your answer. Len: Look, Spock, I'm sorry, but I can't honestly say that. Spock: Why not? Len: Please understand that I love you very much. But, I hate having people in my head. That Healer woman wasn't very gentle. Spock: I apologize for my Vulcan customs. It did not occur to me that you felt forced into our bonding. <Spock leaves.> Len: Oh crap! Damned survey. Spock! Jesus Christ, this is why I didn't want to fill this out. He'll come back in a little bit, probably.) I think that it was when Spock proposed. He was such a sweetheart. It was the moment that I truly understood how much I meant to him. It felt great. Have you ever held a Vulcan in your arms?

THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Heh heh heh. I don't get to have a weekend; I'm in Starfleet. But on my off day: I spend lots of time with Spock. LOTS of it, if you get my drift. And I spend some time with Jim, so he won't feel abandoned by Spock and me. And I sometimes get drunk with Scotty. Also, gambling is a fun thing to do, but Spock doesn't approve.

FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK: Have you ever seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show?

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? How in the Unholy Crimson Hell can Spock get up so early in the morning?

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? Yes. I wouldn't if the damned Bridge Crew could keep this hunk of tin from shaking. (Spock: To be fair Leonard, it isn't the Bridge Crew's fault. Len: Spock, you're just saying that because you're a member of the Bridge Crew.)

ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? Not exactly deadly, but definitely not exciting. They're more of a Jim Kirk thing.

PEN OR PENCIL? Pencil, if I make mistakes, I can erase them and nobody would be the wiser.

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? As many as it takes for the person calling me to realize that I don't care.

FAVOURITE FOODS: Fried Chicken, Peaches, chocolate mousse, that Vulcan rice dish that Spock sometimes makes, steak: medium rare

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? I did. And I loved them very much. But they have both passed on, and I miss them a lot. But I also get along well with Sarek and Amanda. Does that count?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? Not exactly. There was that Saurian Virus that everyone thought that I had started on Dramia II. But that wasn't really my fault. And then there was the conspiracy charges that Dr. Lester convicted Scotty and me of committing. Does insubordination count?

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? What type of question is this to ask a Southerner? Chocolate, obviously.

CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Bacon bits, obviously. Croutons aren't part of the four food groups (Spock: Yes they are, Leonard. They fall into the starch group. Len: I am talking about the Southerners' four food groups: beans, bacon, whisky and lard.)

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? I leave that to the Bridge Crew.

DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? Why the Hell would I be telling you this? (Spock: Leonard, what about that stuffed- Len: SHUT UP SPOCK!)

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Those tribbles were nice. If only they weren't so damn prolific.

IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? Any animal that could destroy Kudzu.

THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY: Cool, as long as I'm not stuck outside.

IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Socrates, Sigmund Freud, or Clara Barton. Or Teddy Roosevelt, he sounded like he was my kind of guy. We could have a drink together or something. (Spock starts to make a comment. Len: Oh, yeah, Spock? He isn't any worse than some of your idols!)

FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: A real, Georgia-style mint Julep made with really good bourbon. But my Finagles Folly would double in a pinch.


EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Well, I don't eat broccoli, so it would be pretty stupid of me to eat the stems of a vegetable that I don't eat. Wouldn't you agree?

GUYS-IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO HER? But of course. I may be an old country doctor, but I was raised as a Southern Gentleman.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I guess if I could have the job of a CMO without having to deal with the bureaucracy of Starfleet.

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Green. I would just do it to try and scare Jim. And if an Admiral had a heart attack as well, that would be well worth it.

IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? Spock's name on my right shoulder.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Obviously. My heart and my mind belong to Spock. And his belong to me. (Spock: Really Leonard? Len: Of course. Do you think that I would allow someone permanent residence in my mind if I didn't love him?) And there was Natira... She and I could have tried to stay friends.

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: Dream wedding? Well, I'm already married, but Vulcan marriages... Anyway, I would've liked to have a big traditional wedding with rings, a reverend, a huge reception, and a honeymoon. And there would've be no robes, just old-fashioned tuxedos. And Spock would have kissed me in front of everybody. But I didn't get that. Although, Spock did get us rings. But a honeymoon would have been nice. (Sigh)

WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? A hologram of Spock and I after our Bonding, my certificate that states that I am the best doctor in Starfleet (I am so proud of that. I even got Spock and Jim to sign it), an abstract painting, some Vulcan tapestry that Spock keeps around, science and medical texts, Spock's firepot, a 3D chess board. You know, this is going to take a long time. How about you just come over and see for yourself?

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? That depends. Are you buying?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE? That Raspberry Peach blend; it is worthy of the name of Georgia.

ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? I'm a righty for writing. As for other activities, well, that really isn't any of your damned business, now is it?

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? No. First of all, I try to avoid typing whenever possible, and I usually only use one hand when I type. Plus, I have to look at the keys.

IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? This is easily the stupidest question that I have ever heard.

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Good question. But I have been missing some socks lately. Oh and there's probably some dust under there, unless Spock decided to clean it. But I'm almost afraid to look. (Spock is raising his eyebrow. Len: Why don't you check, Spock?)

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? 49 (seven times 7 must be seven times luckier)

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? My father had gotten me a recreation of a bright red VW Beetle. It was the cutest little thing. It got me quite a few ladies. I wonder if it would work now? (Spock raises his eyebrow and makes a sound equivalent to a Vulcan grunt.) Not that I would want them, mind you. I just wonder if it would still work.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? Quite frankly I don't really care. Although, a Jupiter 8 would be pretty nice.

FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH: Triball. Its fun to see them scrambling on the ground.


OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT: Christine Chapel. She is mad at me for "stealing her man," as she says to me in Sickbay.

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